In his study of flirting motives, Henningsen had participants describe an ordinary flirting interaction. Not surprisingly, he found that most of the interactions were driven by several motive. He also examined gender differences in flirting descriptions, finding that men viewed flirting as increasing numbers of sexually-driven whereas women reported more fun and relational motives. The remaining motives (exploring, esteem, and instrumental) didn't significantly differ between your sexes.

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To better understand this process, Wright and Roloff surveyed 106 individuals currently in romantic relationships. Before completing surveys, participants were motivated to recall "situations where their partners acted in a manner that either made them: a) angry, b) depressed, or c) disappointed, but after showing these emotions, the partners still did not realize they had done so' (p. 14). In other words, participants recalled a moment they believed a poor emotion but their partners failed to indicate they recognized that emotion. They also completed scales gauging asian wives how upset their partners' deficiency of awareness made them feel.